Find Me Series (Book 3): Finding Hope Page 18

  “She wasn’t hiding jack shit. She just happened to find me before your skinny ass did. Can’t blame her for being smarter,” Drake snapped.

  “She is standing right here,” I said sarcastically. “I can speak for myself. Anyway, now that we got this settled, can we get out of here? Wherever this is. Place is giving me the creeps.” I pushed past the three brooding men and paused at another solid metal door. “This the exit?” I asked.

  Ryder nodded, and I pulled on the handle, letting in the night’s bitter cold. The good news was that the rain had stopped, the bad news was that it had turned into snow again.

  As we trudged through the drifts, Drake and I listened to him explain the lockdown program that had been enacted, and what would happen at first light.

  “You know,” I interrupted. “I think the snow might end up being a blessing.”

  “Right,” Keel mocked. “How’s that?”

  “Because…look.” I turned around and pointed at our four sets of foot prints. “Anyone out is going to leave tracks. It won’t be hard to see where people were moving during the night, if the person you are looking for is indeed a community member. Their tracks might take you directly to them.”

  “That’s assuming the snow doesn’t keep piling up,” Ryder said. He looked up at the black sky and shone his flashlight into the night as if he could judge how much snow would fall by morning. “It doesn’t seem to be easing up. In fact, I bet whoever we are looking for will be stuck inside from this storm.”

  “Sleeping under the same roof,” I mumbled.

  “What?” Keel asked.

  “Nothing.”

  With no idea of where we were on the grounds, I fell in line behind Ryder, doing my best to step inside the indents his shoes made in the snow, but my legs were shorter, and I missed every other second step. It couldn’t have taken more than ten minutes to reach the main building from the storage room we’d been held in, but I was exhausted, and still having a hard time catching a full breath. We used our hands and forearms to feel around the side of the building until we reached the glass doors to the lobby, and when we opened them, I was hit in the face by a gust of warm air.

  “Thank God the heater’s still on,” Ryder said. He stomped his feet repeatedly to knock off the chunks of snow that had gathered around his ankles.

  “Let’s hope the generators last through this storm. Fuel is running low,” Keel complained. He collapsed into a chair and began loosening the laces of his heavy duty boots.

  “I don’t believe in hope anymore,” I mumbled. The men all turned to look at me, then Drake took my hand and began pulling me toward the stairway.

  “Wait,” Ryder said. “The leaders wanted to talk with you!”

  “They can wait till morning,” Drake snapped. “We’re going downstairs, where dry and warm clothes are, then getting some rest. If they have a problem with that, they can kiss my pearly-white ass.”

  If I’d had the energy, I would have laughed.

  Before we climbed into the elevator, Drake turned around and pointed at Ryder and Keel. His eyes burned with hate. “What happened yesterday won’t be forgotten so easily. If you try and pull any crap tonight, you won’t live to see morning. I promise you that.”

  I waited until the doors closed before elbowing him in the side. “Probably not the smartest thing you could have said.”

  “Whatever. I know you have choice words for them, too.”

  “Oh, I do. But it’s kind of like complaining to your waiter before they bring out your food. Why’d you have to threaten them right before we go to sleep?” I winced as the elevator door opened and we stepped out into the hall of our floor. “Let’s just get to tomorrow.”

  “That’s a lot to ask these days. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. They’re all the same now, aren’t they? Tomorrow used to feel so close, but now it seems like such a fantasy. Something we won’t actually reach.”

  “And there’s the glass-half-empty Drake I know,” I said dryly.

  * * *

  We tip-toed down the hall, hoping to avoid waking the others, but Zoey knew we were there. She barked loudly, once, twice, then a third time. Kris opened the door to our room an inch, then tore it nearly off the hinges when she saw me standing awkwardly in the hall.

  “Where have you been?!” She grabbed at me, and buried her face into my neck for a quick hug, but pulled free when she realized how cold and wet I was.

  “Ryder didn’t tell you?” I asked.

  “Of course not,” Drake spat. He nodded at Kris, ruffled the top of her head, and edged around her into the room.

  Zoey was pawing at my legs, demanding attention. She sniffed repeatedly at my clothes, as if she knew we had been somewhere unfamiliar, somewhere unpleasant.

  “Good girl,” I said. “Were you a good girl?”

  She huffed in response and led me into the room. “God, it smells horrible in here.”

  Drake was in the bathroom, and Kris began sifting through the drawers, pulling out a change of clothes for both of us.

  “Yeah, I think she rubbed herself all over everything she could find to dry off. I had to air out the room for two hours, and it still smells like wet dog.” She paused to hold up a long sleeve shirt, then threw it onto Drake’s bed. “So, Winchester was a wreck all day, looking for you and stuff. Where were you?”

  “It’s a long story, Kris. One I’ll tell you all about in the morning. But right now I need something.” I took the folded clothes she held out for me, and tossed them onto my bed.

  “What? Anything. Need extra blankets or something? I know where the supply closet is, so I can run over there if you want.”

  I shook my head. “That’s not what I need. Come here.”

  She stepped forward gingerly, like a child would when they were preparing for a lecture. But when she was within reach, I gathered her up in my arms and held her there for as long as I could. Her heart beat differently than mine. It was wild with youth, and from the promise of future adventures. Maybe even young love. And her breathing was different from mine. Steady, clean. Not rushed or forced, just healthy and perfect. I stroked her hair with my hand and inhaled the smell of her soap. She was very much alive, and I wanted to keep her that way.

  “Will you stay in the room tomorrow?” I asked her.

  Against my shoulder, her mouth moved. “All day?”

  “Yes. All day. And only let us in, okay?”

  She moved her head back to look up at me, and though her face was full of questions, she kept her thoughts to herself.

  “Sure. I’ll stay in. Read a book or something.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. “You’ve never called me that.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

  “It’s okay. I like it. You’re the closest thing I’ll ever have to a mom now, you know.”

  I did know. Which is why I slept fitfully all night. Even as Drake snored lightly in his bed, and Kris remained safely buried under the covers in her bunk above him, I tossed and turned, struck with the fear that things would be changing forever soon, and that I would have no power to stop it.

  My last thought before I drifted into a nightmare was of Connor, and when I’d be able to hold him in my arms like I’d held Kris. At that moment, I wanted him there to tell me everything was going to be okay. Because I felt like a liar saying the words myself.

  How could anything in our messed-up state of living ever be okay again?

  * * *

  Winchester’s gentle and groomed hands worked their way down my side and around my front, where the pain was the strongest. Breathing was difficult, but improving, which he said was a good sign. But when he leaned away from me and stood up beside my bunk, his face was pinched with concern.

  “What is it?” I asked, without bothering to move. My head was quite comfortable on my pillow.

  “I think you have at least one cracked rib. And that bruise,” he paused to lean forward and place two fin
gerprints on my abdomen. I winced, just from the brief touch of his fingers on my skin. “I believe that came from a foot.”

  Drake elbowed Winchester aside and stared down at my exposed midsection. “Well, no shit. I see it now. Looks like…what would you say, a size 10? 11 maybe?”

  “Uh, well, it’s not a small foot,” Winchester stuttered. He realized, a bit too late, that he’d opened up a can of whoop-ass on someone, and Drake was going to be the one doing the damage.

  “So. Someone kicked me…it’s not the first time,” I sighed.

  “Keel. I bet it was him; him and those damn steel-toed boots. I’ll rip out the man’s spine and wear it as a scarf. I shit you not.” Drake’s face had turned a rather alarming shade of red.

  Both Winchester and I looked at Drake with similar faces of disgust. “A scarf? Really? That’s just…gross.” Winchester stepped back and gave me a small wave. “I’ve a few things to do before breakfast. You should rest as much as you can and eat well today. Doctor’s orders.” He winked, then retreated quickly from the room, shutting the door behind him.

  With a long sigh, Drake flopped down on the edge of my bed, being careful to not sit on Zoey’s head. She was sleeping, or pretending to, across the lower half of my legs.

  “He kicked you when you were already down. I have a problem with that,” he mumbled.

  “Well, I have a problem with everything. Their whole approach was a bit messed-up, don’t you think? I mean, for a guy that likes to talk a lot, Ryder could have chosen a more diplomatic approach.” I laughed, but he didn’t join me.

  “Only a coward would kick a helpless woman when she’s already down.”

  I painfully pushed myself up onto one elbow. “I thought we’d already established that I’m not a helpless woman.”

  Drake smiled at that. “Yeah. That’s a damn fact.” When he leaned down to kiss me, I turned away at the last moment, taking his lips on the cheek instead of the mouth. I couldn’t kiss Drake with Connor a few buildings away.

  “Right. Okay then,” he said. “I’m going to grab breakfast. I’ll bring back something for you.”

  “I’m not really hungry.”

  “You heard the man,” he said, not looking over his shoulder before he left the room. “Doctor’s orders.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  I spent the day in bed eating thin soup, bread rolls and dried fruits. Despite being brought food, I saw hardly anyone for more than a few seconds at a time. And napping evaded me. Sleep - the tease queen. Even with Kris out the door before lunch to find Colton, leaving me half a day to rest, sleep wouldn’t come. For hours I rolled from one side to the other, wincing and cursing my lack of pillows. She’d promised to hang around for the day, but I wasn’t the best of company when laid up, so in part, I didn’t blame her for taking off. Finally, after being served a dinner of rice and green vegetables by Winchester, my eyes felt heavy enough to close. My mind drifted from the day to the year, stuck in a thick fog of darkness.

  Until Zoey barked. I sat up with a painful groan after shushing her to no avail. “What is it, girl?” The dog huffed twice in answer before a soft knock bounced off the outside of the door.

  “Win, if that’s you, I’m still alive. Trying to sleep, actually,” I said loud enough for him to hear.

  There was a brief pause, then the sound of someone clearing their throat. Zoey huffed again. “I’m sorry, Riley. It’s not your friend. It’s Amanda. May we speak?”

  Amanda. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to talk to her. “Why?”

  From the hall, she laughed softly. “I heard you were injured. I’ve come to see why you aren’t in the medical unit, receiving proper attention?”

  My legs felt like lead as they swung off the bed. They were even heavier as I weaved from the bunk to the door. When I opened it, Amanda stood before me in her signature white outfit, with a brown sweater the color of baby poop draped across her shoulders.

  “I just want to sleep,” I said.

  “I see. Well, may I come in?” Her hair was pulled back in a tight bun, but the sides had frizzed out just enough that it looked like she’d sprouted a set of horns. Seemed somehow fitting.

  “Sure,” I gestured inside the room reluctantly. “But you’ll find seating rather limited.”

  “Oh, I don’t need to sit.”

  “Okay, then.”

  She looked around the room, taking it all in as if I’d done something drastic to the decor, when the only thing that wasn’t bolted to the wall or floor was our collection of thrown about clothes. Feeling self-conscious, I bent over and picked up a pair of Drake’s dirty socks and tossed them toward his bunk. When Zoey chased them down and began sniffing them, Amanda pursed her lips and forced a smile.

  “I never had a pet growing up,” she said.

  “Really? Well, you missed out.”

  “My parents were very neat people. Mother never let the house get out of order. A pet would have been…unacceptable.”

  Carefully, I found myself leaning against the wall. “Well, she would hate what the world has become then, wouldn’t she?”

  Amanda nodded curtly. “Yes. Yes, she would.”

  Zoey stopped sniffing Drake’s socks and began rolling around in them. If she was trying to win Amanda over, it wasn’t working. The slender woman turned away from the dog with a grimace and faced me.

  “Ryder mentioned there was an…incident. I apologize for how he handled things.”

  “The way I heard it, everyone around here has orders, including Ryder.” I found something invisible under my finger nail to pick at.

  “Of course, of course. There was a simple miscommunication. That won’t happen again.” She adjusted the arms of her sweater, straightening the top around her shoulders, though I hadn’t seen the scratchy-looking fabric shift at all.

  “Well, I guess Ryder is lucky no one got too badly hurt, right?”

  “Look, Riley,” Amanda started, “I know you and your friends went through a lot before arriving here, but the Ark is different from some of the other refuges out there. We have rules, a system. We must keep order. We are trying to rebuild. You have to understand what’s at stake here. Why we have…had concerns.”

  “You mean, why you jumped to conclusions?”

  The two of us stood blinking at each other, unsure of what the other was thinking. Waiting for something of significance to say. We were saved from the conversation by Zoey barking.

  Amanda, clearly uncomfortable, stepped toward the door and gave a curt nod. “Seems I’ve overstayed my welcome. I’ll see you topside, Riley. I do hope you feel better.” And then she slipped out the door, closing it softly behind her.

  Zoey wagged her tail from side to side, content that our awkward visitor had left. “You don’t like her either, do you, girl?” I laughed.

  With a hobble, I retreated to the bathroom where a quick splash of cold water cooled my warm cheeks. I brushed my teeth until my gums hurt, but before I could rinse, another knock on the door sent Zoey into a fit.

  A male voice boomed from the hall, “I know you’re in there, let me in!”

  After a quick swish of water, I dropped the toothbrush back into its holder, next to Drake’s and Kris’. “What the hell, Keel?” Irritated, I hobbled to the door and placed my ear on the panel, but flinched back when Keel hit it twice with his fist.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with your boyfriend,” he hissed. “But he’s lucky to still be alive after the shit he just pulled!” He cursed and kicked at the lower half of the door. It rattled, but stayed securely in place.

  My thoughts went wild as I wondered what Drake had done once he went topside. He’d had all day to get back at Keel and Ryder. Apparently, whatever had happened, it wasn’t pleasant. After clearing my throat to make sure my voice came out clear, I yelled back at the door, “Where’s Drake? What did you do?” I used my foot to push Zoey backwards, away from the door, and sliced the air with my hand; a signal for her to stop barking. She obeyed, but
kept her hackles up and her teeth pulled back.

  “What did I do? He came out of the blue and clocked me in the face, Riley, and now he has my goddamn firearm! I already told you we all have orders to follow…yesterday wasn’t my fucking fault! Open the door! You owe me a damn explanation!”

  With a quick flick of the wrist, I disengaged the lock and pulled the door open so fast that it startled Keel. Before he could finish opening his mouth to speak, my balled up fist hit him square in the nose, sending him flailing back until he slammed into the wall across the hallway.

  “What the fuck!” he cried. With one hand, he clutched at his bleeding nose, and with the other, he pushed off the wall and regained his footing. Again, with more enthusiasm, he spat, “WHAT THE FUCK!”

  With the dog hot on my heels, I took the few strides across the hallway to him and jabbed my finger into his chest, breaking one of my nails but not feeling it. “You’re the FUCK around here! You jump us, tie us up and throw us into a dark hole and then hours later say, ‘Oops, we messed up, so sorry…’ and then you have the audacity to say that I owe you explanations? Did you hit your head on your bunk this morning, or were you born this stupid?!” Before he could step away, I brought my knee up into his groin with as much strength as my abdomen would permit. It wasn’t the force I’d hoped for, but it still took Keel down onto all fours. My ribs screamed in protest, and I clutched at my side just briefly enough to make sure a bone wasn’t protruding through the skin.

  Zoey lunged at him, but I grabbed her collar and pulled her vibrating body back into the room and slammed the door shut. Keel was still struggling to catch a breath on all fours when I spun around to look at him.

  “Jesus…” he gasped.

  “Nope,” I said. “He’s not here to save you. You got me instead. How does it feel, getting beat up by a woman?”

  With his hand trembling, he rose it up as if to stop me, but I smacked it away. “Don’t beg. It’s a waste of the little time you have left.”

  A whiff of fading disinfectant and steel spread through the corridor. And wet clothes. Keel’s pants were damp from the knee down, I assumed from walking through the snow, but when my eyes settled on his boots - the same boots that probably kicked at my ribcage the day before - the pain in my side screamed, Kill him!